The Brat Fights the Fat

I'm sliding back down the slippery slope of bad habits. I've hardly exercised all week. I don't think I've had 3 servings of vegetables this week, let alone a day. I'm not getting enough sleep or water. I had Pepsi & cheerios for breakfast and pizza for dinner last night. I haven't been traking my points. I don't know what's with me. I just feel kinda blah.

I think the pressure is starting to get to me. I've got all these deadlines and I'm starting to panic. At work, I have to give the go/no go decision on a project. I haven't finished testing and if I say go and there's problems it'll come back to me. And it's a major project ~ a new version of the POS system that will be going into 100+ stores. Talk about major implications if something goes wrong. I haven't done enough testing and I'm worried that I'm not going to have enough time to get it done. At home, money is a big issue right now. We're expecting some money to come in by the end of the month, but until then things will be really tight. I'm sure those of you who've had money struggles before will relate the pressure money puts on a family.

I'm also feeling the pressure in terms of weightloss. I've got the death camp coming up and that scares me. I'm not an athletic person and while I'm making progress, I'm scared that I won't be able to do this. That I'll injure myself or worse humiliate myself. I'm worried about running out of time to lose the weight before my surgery. I thought I'd set a realistic and doable goal, but as each week passed with little to now change, I don't think my goal is going to be attainable now. I'm terrified of the surgery itself, even more so of the recovery after. I won't be able to hug my kids or lift them or do a lot of things. I'm scared that all the work I've done to lose the weight will be wasted, that while I'm recovering from my surgery, I'll gain it all back. I'm going to be going from exercising 3 - 4 times a week to not being able to get out of bed without assistance. Hell, I'm even scared that I'll be losing part of my identity by having this surgery. It's one thing that has always set me apart from most everyone else. Krista, the one with the big...
I know that the surgery makes sense and everyone I've talked to who's had it done is thrilled. I'm just being a ninny. Hopefully I'll snap out of it soon.

Menu so Far:
Breakfast
Pepsi (3)
Cheerios (3)
Lunch
WW Twice Baked Garlic Potato (3)
Dinner
??
Snacks
??

Water: 0L/2L
Sleep: 8 hrs
Days to Death Camp: 9
Vegetables: 0
AP: 0

I don't ususally do more than one post a day, but I felt this warranted it. A friend's site (Kasanika) had this link on it. I decided to check it out. I laughed so hard that sound stopped coming out of my mouth. If you need a good belly laugh, I suggest you check it out. So far my favourites are Betty Davis Eyes and Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy.